Montecristo Captain Quixote

montecristo

The World Line of the Horizon Star

Some would say I was a lost man in a lost world


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Montecristo Captain Quixote
montecristo

Okay, okay, I'll play too...

That awful sex meme.
Confessions of a painfully ordinary man follow.
  1. Had sex? yes
  2. Had oral sex? yes given and received
  3. Had anal sex? given yes, received no, (unless you count a finger)
  4. Used more than 3 positions in one session? yes
  5. Devoted a whole day to sex? yes
  6. Had noise complaints from neighbors during a sex session? no
  7. Received open praise for sexual technique? yes
  8. Written an erotic story? yes
  9. Fallen or lost balance during sex? no
  10. Brought partner to climax using only hands? yes
  11. Brought partner to climax using only mouth? yes
  12. Had sex while totally dressed? yes
  13. Had sex while standing up? yes
  14. Erotically licked feet or sucked toes? yes
  15. Had sex during a "monthly visit"? yes -- have heard some girls say it releases natural oxytosin and endorphins which relieves cramping -- I read that this is actually true, even though it sounds like the female version of "blue balls." I've never gotten my "red wings" (never done oral during that time).
  16. Used whipped cream/soft chocolate erotically? no
  17. Used ice erotically? yes
  18. Used hot melted wax erotically? yes
  19. Shaved your pubic hair? mine? no, hers? yes
  20. Used a sex toy? yes
  21. Used a vibrator? yes -- better to give than receive -- vibration and I (in general) just don't get along
  22. Used an inanimate object (bottle, candle, hairbrush, etc.)? yes
  23. Used an inanimate object while having sex with a partner? yes
  24. Obtained money or a favor for sex? no
  25. Paid or granted a favor for sex? no
  26. Given sex in sympathy? no
  27. Had sex with a virgin? no
  28. Ever cheated on someone? no
  29. Had sex with someone 10 years older/younger than you? no -- but that's not necessarily from preference
  30. Had sex with your landlord? No! She's OLD, damn it!
  31. Had sex with a teacher? no
  32. Had sex with a boss? no
  33. Had sex with a relative? no
  34. Had sex with two members of the same family? no
  35. Had sex with twins? no
  36. Had homosexual sex? Never, nor am I remotely curious.
  37. Had sex with a pet? no
  38. Had sex with a farm animal? no
  39. Had sex with someone the same day that you met them? no
  40. Had sex with someone whose name you didn't know? no
  41. Had sex with someone you never spoke to/spoke different languages? no
  42. Had more than 10 sexual partners? no
  43. Had more than 100 sexual partners? no
  44. Had two separate sexual partners within 24 hours? no
  45. Had a menage-a-trois? no
  46. Had group sex (more than 3)? no
  47. Participated in a swap/swinging club? no
  48. Had two regular partners at the same time? no
  49. Had sex in a public place? well, no, not really -- perhaps it was semi-public -- the "danger" was a factor
  50. If so, where? a field just off a highway, at night
  51. Had sex outdoors in broad daylight? yes
  52. Had sex on the roof of a building? no
  53. Had sex in a stationary car? yes
  54. Had sex in a moving car? no, but I've teased and been teased in a moving car
  55. Are you a member of the mile high club? no
  56. Had sex outdoors at night? yes
  57. Had two sexual partners at the same time unaware of each other? no
  58. Had sex in the host's bedroom while a day guest (party/social visit)? no
  59. Had sex in the host's bedroom while an overnight guest? no
  60. Had sex in a public room while an overnight guest (kitchen etc.)? no
  61. Had sex at your office or other work area? no
  62. Met partner during work hours to have sex? no
  63. Had sex in a public restroom? no
  64. Had sex on public transportation? no
  65. Had sex in a dark theatre? no
  66. Had sex in the water? yes
  67. Had sex in an elevator? no
  68. Had sex in a cemetery? no
  69. Had sex in a store dressing room? no
  70. Used alcohol to lower resistance to sexual advances? no
  71. Allowed yourself to be felt up by a stranger? no
  72. Looked at a nude magazine? yes
  73. Looked at an explicit magazine (actual sex acts)? yes, actual kinky sex acts, heh heh
  74. Seen a live stripper? yes, I was under whelmed -- the audience was full of male apes more desperate to affirm their heterosexuality to each other by boisterous demonstration than to appreciate the strippers -- very lame.
  75. Seen a live sex show? no
  76. Watched someone having sex without their knowledge? yes
  77. Showered with a partner? yes
  78. Flashed someone (breasts, genital, mooned)? no
  79. Streaked with a group of six or more? no
  80. Stripped for someone? not really
  81. Stripped for a group of 3 or more? no
  82. Participated at a nude beach or nudist camp? no
  83. Been the only nude person in a group of 3 or more? no
  84. Played strip poker (or a similar game involving nudity)? yes, as a kid -- it was dumb
  85. Showered while someone watched? no
  86. Masturbated? yes
  87. Masturbated while someone watched? yes
  88. Masturbated for a group of three or more people? no
  89. Masturbated covertly in public? yes, if "while driving down the highway" counts
  90. Had sex while you knew someone was watching? no
  91. Been walked in on while having sex? yes, twice, roommate in college, 3-year-old daughter while 69ing the wife! Eek!
  92. Walked in on someone having sex? yes
  93. Had phone sex? no
  94. Watched a porno film with a sexual partner? yes -- eh, kind of distracting, like trying to watch TV and learn to juggle at the same time -- what's the point?
  95. Been the photographer for a nude photo? completely nude? no, lingerie? yes
  96. Been photographed nude? no -- unless you want to count the time my brother burst in on me and snapped a Polaroid of me on the can! I gave him the worst beating of his life for that.
  97. Been photographed having sex? no
  98. Been videotaped having sex? no
  99. Watched a regular sexual partner having sex with someone else? no, why share?
  100. Role-played a sexual situation? er, depends on how you define "role play" -- in the context of sex (yes); in the context of some other game not normally associated with sex and where people other than partner are present (no)
  101. Taken part in transvestism? no
  102. Used a blindfold during sex? yes -- and it's more fun to give than to receive
  103. Used handcuffs during sex? yes -- ditto
  104. Inflicted pain during sex? yes
  105. Received pain during sex? yes
  106. Used nipple clips? on me? no, on partner? oh yeah
  107. Used sex dice? no
  108. Used whip, chains, cat-o-nine tails, etc. during sex? yes, chain
  109. Received an electric shock during sex? no
  110. Drawn blood (scratched, bit)? yes, but not by design
  111. Used auto-erotic strangulations? no
  112. Pierced your genitals or nipples? no
  113. Continued sex until raw or bleeding? Only until sore
  114. Do you do dead people? no, Where in the hell would someone even get such a gross "opportunity"? If you die in my house, you will arrive at the morgue with your "afterlife virginity" intact!
Note that there are only 114 questions because the original skipped number fifty eight. This is a good reason to use the ordered list, <ol> tag when you make these posts...

  • 1
Ordinary? Yeah right!

No.'s 102-108. Um-huh...

I don't know. I never considered that stuff extreme, unlike the farm animals, multiple partners at once, more than 100 (!), necrophilia, bestiality, exhibitionism etc. which I wouldn't be caught dead trying... I guess it's all relative.

Re: Well, yeah, sort of

True.

You're so funny. I like your little comments after your answers, especially.

Why didn't you post this in s&si with the rest of the freaks us? :)

Why not post in S&Si?

Because I'm an idiot and posted it here, where my client defaults, when I don't check the posting location. HEH! I'll cross-post it.

Re: Why not post in S&Si?

Okay, cool. :)

  • 1
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