Robert (Bro. Pepper-spray of Reasoned Discussion) (montecristo) wrote,
Robert (Bro. Pepper-spray of Reasoned Discussion)

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Grokking Laurel.

Laurel's sensing function is incredibly powerful. More and more, the more I know of her the clearer it becomes. I'm almost certain that sensing is either primary or secondary in her. She doesn't trust her intuition. I remember a conversation when we were talking about her brother. She had to test him. I could see what he was doing and where he was going, just listening to her describe her interactions with him. My intuition sized him up immediately and it was clear what he was doing. She still had to go acquire the facts, patiently, one fact at a time, to feel the data, taste, smell, watch how the pieces fit together and explore how they interacted, and only after she had all that, then use her judgment. When I told her what I had intuited from what she told me about her brother and their interactions, she rejected the idea quickly, almost viscerally, explaining that she needed to do it her way, to understand. She gardens. She talks about "living in her body." It's fascinating to me. I suspect that her internal wiring is what apparently makes my "inner-world journeys" interesting to her. She is "not built that way."

She groks things. She uses the term when she writes and speaks. She's read Robert Heinlein's Stranger In A Strange Land. The concept of grokking obviously sunk in with her. She groks it. This, even after she seems to have forgotten the story itself. I remember referring to her as similar in many ways to Valentine Michael Smith, the protagonist of the story, and she drew a blank. I think the Wikipedia topic I linked on the concept of grokking missed a few points. The Martians of Heinlein's story were very water conscious, because Mars is such a dry world. Drinking is a profound thing, an important and significant thing to their beings. The etymology of "grokking," a term invented by Heinlein's Martians, comes from their term for drinking. The idea that human beings and human civilization do not grok grokking, expressed in the Wikipedia article linked, is Heinleinesque bull shit. We do. To grok something, in human English language terms is to internalize it to have an idea "sink-in," like drinking water and having the water become part of the cells of our bodies. Laurel uses the term so unselfconsciously — it is not an affectation with her — she grokked grokking, and it became part of her long after Heinlein's tale vanished into the depths of her memory. How sensor can you get? Heh.

Holy shit! She's an ESFP?! Oh fuck. Why didn't I see that before? It's because my only real experience with ESFP's in life have been men and boys: my maternal grandfather and my best childhood friend, Will. I don't know any ESFP females, at least not, possibly, until now. Nah. Hold on there. Whoa! Hoss. I'd want that entirely too damn much. I'm too invested to be completely objective here. I cannot let myself leap to that conclusion through intuitive insight alone... Kripes though, that would mean that she's my dual. That would go a long way toward explaining the immediate attraction. I've got to find out for sure. I knew I'd need to ask her, to be sure that this assessment has a chance of being right. You cannot really assign type to someone; they have to know it, to grok it, for themselves. What's worse, I run the danger of having my assessment be the product of wishful or magical thinking on my part. That's no good. It calls into question my objectivity. The problem is, in getting it across to her and then seeing if that made sense to her. If she understood what a dual is she'd wonder pretty hard whether I was attempting to sell her something, underhandedly, manipulate her. People know themselves when they see themselves. She told me that she never was able to figure out which of the Meyers-Briggs types fit her. She does too much "exercise" with her tertiary and quaternary functions to make them strong as well.

Has she, though, exercised her tertiary and quaternary functions? Well, she's definitely worked on her thinking. You cannot start, run, and sell businesses without exercising your logic, a lot. It's her tertiary function. She's the right age. It's coming into it's natural growth phase as well. That project she's been envisioning, that's thinking, trying to bust out of its cocoon and do a bit of flying. I recognize that restlessness about my own sensing function. It fits. She hasn't exercised her intuition a lot. She doesn't trust it, not with the really important decisions. She uses that extroverted sensing to collect her data and manipulate it until she groks it. Her words: she rubs it all over herself until it sinks in. That's a strong sensor talking. It's essentially the textbook case.

What about the feelings? She was certain that was one of her strong suits, and I doubted it. She doesn't talk about her feelings in ways that I've always experienced people talking about them. I suppose it is possible that we are both right, if she is an ESFP. She introverts her feelings, for a start. That would explain a few things. Sharing what she feels, bluntly, with me would be similar to me introverting my iNtuition. Sure, it can be done, but it's work. Also, she's a sensing feeler, not an iNtuitive feeler, like the kind with whom I have the most experience — Crystal, Jackie, Shannon, my mom, a few other women I have known well. No wonder I thought it didn't fit. She's SP, not NF. I've kind of wondered about meeting an ESFP, and reluctantly concluded that the odds were slim, because I tend not to travel in circles that SP's frequent. Gah! To stumble into one who introduced herself to me...serendipity, indeed!
Tags: interpersonal, introspection, ponderings and curiosity

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