We went out for Thai food tonight. We had a good time. We were both ravenous. She got to feeling a little nauseated over dinner so she went outside and sat down while I paid the bill. We were going to go get icecream at Coldstone but we sat in the car awhile because her guts were feeling wonky and she didn't want to go anywhere. Finally she figured it out. She was having a panic attack. She said she doesn't usually get them without shakes so she didn't recognize it, at first. So... we sat in the car for awhile outside the Thai place and just talked about this and that. I asked her if she knew what was bothering her but she couldn't identify it. She suspected "over-socialization," first at the summer camp, from working with all the Girl Scouts this past month, and then three solid days of Disneyland.
We sat there, me, people watching and Shannon with her seat reclined, sending messages on Facebook. I was telling her about spending a lot of time talking to Laurel on Skype, and staying up damned near all night just enjoying the experience of her company. Shannon had previously made a friend of her on Facebook. Shannon told me she felt weird, making someone a friend on Facebook and never having said hi to them, then she mentioned saying hi, and then she realized that Laurel was still online and said, "Now I've done it..." So I asked what and she says: "She's on line." Shannon is a trip. She's always interesting and frequently has a really unique perspective on things.
Finally, she was feeling better and decided she wanted icecream after all but she wasn't feeling very social so we went in, bought the icecream and came back to the car to eat it and talk. We started talking about some of the stuff I was reading. I mentioned how Laurel solicits input from her boys. I asked Shannon about what she thought of the way I interacted with her as a child. She told me that when she was having depression that her mother told her that she needed to deal with it and move on anyway (which is how Crystal deals with her own issues) and she told me that I tended to treat her as if the idea of her being depressed was "a silly idea" -- that I gave her incredulity. o.O I knew that she was right though, looking back. Ack! I apologized and thanked her. I did do that. It's amazing what you can hear if you ask and listen. The idea that someone like Shannon, who was always so sweet and fun-loving, could be depressed and anxious did make me incredulous, at the time. Hiding, evading, where in the hell was my empathy? Did I really believe that I could just talk her out of the idea of being depressed? She told me that I had changed a lot, since those days.
When we got home, I played some music on YouTube and she was texting some of her friends. I played Ed Sheeran's "The A Team" and she started singing along with it. I said, "Oh, you know this one?" and she said, "Yes. It's a cool song. You do know that it is about a crack ho, don't you?" I told her that of course I did and she pointed out that she found it very funny that many of her friends could sing along with that tune, knew the words that well, and did not have a clue what it was about. I told her that I loved the melody and that the lyrics were poignant. She said that Sheeran was one of her "cerebral artists" that she liked. She named a few more, including Owl City. I told her about sending "Fireflies" to Laurel and she got intrigued, saying, "Oh, you've got to send her this, and this, and this other one, too!" Heh.