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Montecristo Captain Quixote


The World Line of the Horizon Star

Some would say I was a lost man in a lost world

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Montecristo Captain Quixote

Thoughts about differences

According to the scale, I weigh 208 pounds this morning. I got up early to come into work because I have to leave early this afternoon for a dentist appointment in Livermore at 4 PM. I got up around 5:30 and turned the heat on and meditated. The furnace is programed to be around 60° F at night and not switch to 72° until 6. The cat seems reasonably good today. When I got home last night I found a spot near the front door where she had vomited, so maybe she got whatever it was out of her system.

The anger cleared away a bit more this morning. The angriest inner-people were sleeping-in, apparently, or maybe they are quiet because they are satisfied that they are being heard. I was able to get in touch with some other feelings and thinking that had heretofore been blocked from me. How could she say what she said to me? That's not hard to fathom this morning; it looked like truth to her, and if it was painful truth, well, so much the better, because she was feeling hurt as well. It could have been worse. She could have said goodbye to me in person, or even on Skype, been there, present and able to make me feel it, in my flesh and bones, as she does. I fear that if she can make me feel all sorts of wonderful and good things, she could almost certainly also wound grievously with that power as well.

We are such opposites in certain ways. Meyers-Briggs says that we are complimentary, but that too, has an element of the foreign and opposing to it. It is something that must be met and dealt with to connect two such people. It is not the kind of relationship for complacency. Our experiences are so different.