Robert (Bro. Pepper-spray of Reasoned Discussion) (montecristo) wrote,
Robert (Bro. Pepper-spray of Reasoned Discussion)
montecristo

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Ovomancy

This morning I got up at 6:30 and made my usual breakfast. I have a sandwich comprised of two pieces of toast, two slices of fried deli ham, two fried eggs, and a slice of American cheese. When I first started cooking breakfast for myself this year, I was lousy at breaking eggs. I would crack them too hard, and the yolk would break, or I would crack them too lightly, and in the effort of breaking them into the skillet the shell would fragment and again, the yolk would break. Broken yolks were something of a minor disappointment, as this is not the effect I was trying to achieve, yet as the days, now months, have passed, I think I am getting the hang of breaking eggs. Most mornings I can get two nice fried eggs without breaking the yolks.

As I have said before, many times to people, I am not a superstitious man. Nevertheless there is a game I play with myself every morning. I divine the hypothetical nature of the day ahead based upon how my eggs behave in the skillet. The funny thing is, there is a slight rational validity to this exercise. If I am in a bad mood, or distracted by something, I am less likely to pay all the attention to breaking the eggs that the job still requires of me. I am not yet in the same league with the French or Japanese chefs who make the subtle art of egg-breaking look as easy as breathing. So, when I am distracted, it sometimes happens that one or both of my eggs are cracked wrong and the yolk breaks, allowing the results of the exercise to serve as a slight barometer for the nature of my mood and the manner in which I am likely to approach the rest of the day. All I will say for this practice is that it probably has a little more validity than the terrorism alert color scheme cooked up by the Department of Homeland Security.

This morning, the eggs spoke slight warning. I broke the first one cleanly and effortlessly. The second one, I struck slightly too hard on the edge of the frying pan. None of the egg white ran down the outside of the pan (a very good indicator) but the yolk broke anyway. Another good indicator was that I didn't drip any egg white from the shell on the stove on my way to the garbage can with the shell with either egg. This also bodes well.

I am going to go get my unruly mop chopped this morning. It has been getting long again. I tend to let it grow out on me. It has been a couple of months again, since my last haircut and I keep telling myself that I am going to stick to a once-a-month schedule, but I often don't. I have gone close to a year before, but mostly, it runs to about once every three months. The last time I had one was either in October or November, so it is indeed time to take care of this little detail before going out and talking to prospective landlords.

So this morning I'm off to get spiffy and then to the dentist for a check-up and a cleaning. I'm not particularly worried about the trip to the dentist. I've had only two cavities in my life. Yeah, I know, hate me now. I hardly ever get sick either.

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