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Montecristo Captain Quixote


The World Line of the Horizon Star

Some would say I was a lost man in a lost world

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Montecristo Captain Quixote

Fingertips have memories, I can't forget the curves of your body...

I have decided that I really realy miss sex. You know, it's been so damned long, it is shocking to think that after a year, thereabouts, I have gotten used to celibacy! ACK! This morning is certainly different though. It has to be this fantastic California spring weather and all of the trees and flowers blooming. The air is probably also full of the hormones of randy furry forest, farm, and house pet animals. Yeah, it's Nature. Of course, it's more than just horniness; it's that echoing emptiness that nothing seems to quite fill up. It is that need that is more than just emotional or physical alone, but that is a combination of the two that answers a need that goes right to the core of one's humanity. There's nothing like waking up at your leisure on a weekend morning, and feeling very happy to be alive and a bit frisky and realizing that it would be a great time for sex, except that, there's nobody in bed with you! Ack! What a letdown for an otherwise perfect morning.

I have to say that I like messing around before sex. Yeah, there's that "foreplay" word that guys are supposed to think is foreign or something. Yes, and anyone reading that has already jumped to the conclusion that I am lying in a perverse attempt to impress women, or it really is a woman doing the typing. Bah! Okay, I'm a typical guy too, I get into a state where I gotta have it yesterday, and that's nice and all, but I really like getting the idea of having sex, and then experimenting with my partner trying to see if we can get on the same wavelength at the same time and turn each other on. That's fun! It's kind of like a challenge. It makes sex into an activity in which actual people participate, instead of being like some contrivance for which you flip on the switch and go.

The soon-to-be-ex was not like this at all. You know, it's funny, but one small reason to wish that the paperwork would hurry up and go through is so that I can quit typing "soon-to-be-ex," as in any day now, (please!) in front of the "ex". Nevertheless, sex was one of those areas where we are completely different. You see, I like messing around with my partner before getting all sweaty, if we even get to that point. Wooling around on someone feels really good, in and of itself, even if you don't have the time or inclination for anything else. The STBX was not like that. In this respect, she was like the stereotypical guy. She had an amazingly fast sexual response for a woman and pretty much looked at foreplay as a waste of time which only got her too revved up and too frustrated and impatient for "the main event" to begin. Heh heh, one of the things that made tying the woman up such a joy was that I got to set whatever pace I felt like and she had to suffer in excruciating horrible horny impatience. Put your eyebrows back down; it was consensual! Besides, it's not like it happened every day or something...I'm kinky often, but not an obsessed fetishist...much.

No, the STBX hated any kind of ambiguity, indecision or plan-less-ness, even where sex was involved. She wanted to know when she was going to get it, long before hand, or at least an hour's warning. The thing was, she liked to go off in her head by herself and tease herself with the idea, and get revved, and then come to bed later wanting it yesterday. Now okay, I can see the fun in tantalizing yourself with the idea that you're going to get sex soon, and anticipating it, and thinking about it, but if your partner is already in the vicinity, what's wrong with making that into a game for two? Furthermore, she was into the idea of scheduling it. Okay, to me that sounds as if it could be somewhat kinky -- occasionally. There is a certain novelty in anticipating a set time and date when you know you're going to get laid. Heck, if it was regular, I think I can even get into the challenge of making it new and different each time so that it wouldn't get old or stale. Nevertheless, the challenge doesn't always pay. What if you don't feel like it right then? Scheduling sex has all of the spontaneity of an appointment to get your car's brake-work done. Ah well, perhaps Perceivers and Judgers should just acknowledge the fact that being in a relationship together is going to be somewhat problematical.

No, there's no doubt in my mind that I miss the companionship that comes from having someone special share your life and home, but this morning, I miss the tangible physical values that having a lover brings. I miss being able to wake up and hear a woman's breathing as she sleeps next to me, of being able to see sunlight stream through a gap in the curtains and play across her face, and being able to watch her eyes dart around under the lids as she dreams. I miss being able to roll over and wrap an arm around my partner. I love doing that. Crystal was always so self-conscious about her body, but I loved every inch of it. Everyone is unique and has a unique shape and form. It was pure pleasure to run my hand and arm over her belly and breasts, over her hips and down her thigh and relish knowing her by touch, with my hands. I love stroking a woman and feeling the way the different fabrics she wore to bed ride over the surface of her flesh. I like burying my face in a woman's hair or the back of her neck and inhaling the sweet, musky, warm scent unique to each person. I have heard it said that the human nose, unlike the canine nose, is too insensitive to distinguish between two otherwise clean people by smell. I think the person making that comment is barking mad. I have always been able to distinguish among people by smell, if I know them well enough. I could certainly identify the woman I was sleeping with from a roomful of other women even if I all I had to go on was scent.

I love being able to pull a woman to me and feel her breathing and heartbeat and warmth against my bare chest. I miss the feel of a woman's hair as it slides over my skin and between my fingers. Hell I even miss that trick the STBX had of burying her cold toes (from running around barefoot constantly) under my legs as we lay in bed.

Gah! I've got to quit. This gets me nowhere. I have to get some work done today. Perhaps I should have some tea to start the day:

What Kind of Tea Am I

you are chamomile tea......you are very calm, and
you like to be warm, relaxed, and cozy. You
tend to have a calming effect on people, and
your friends often come to you with problems.

(with pics) what tea are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Oh great, chamomile, I'll put you to sleep. My daughter Jackie already says that I have a soothing and relaxing voice. Help! I'm boring! Auggghhh! I've been out-ted by a quizzie!

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You've only just now gotten there?!?

Well, it's like this...

I'm one of those people who can "get used to" being alone. There is a profound difference between getting horny and wanting real sex. Some good porno and some spare time will cure the former. Horniness is something that doesn't go away. It's like dreaming or being hungry.

On the other hand, sex is a different issue, at least to me. It's been about a year now, since the STBX stopped sleeping with me. Eventually, after that happened, that part of my psyche just shut down. Things were already problematical enough as they were between us, the lack of sex was just one more thing. Sex was something I did with the woman I married, and if not with her, then not at all. I didn't want anybody else -- that's the point of getting married in the first place. Pretty soon, sleeping in a king-sized bed by myself just got to be a habit I didn't think anything of. I don't know. Something woke it up again. Spring?

And it must just be the season
When the Spring is in the air
and I'm acting like a child again
But frankly, I don't care.
And I picked these purple flowers
to weave into your hair
And, of course, I'd want to marry you
and travel off somewhere...

be careful with me...
David Wilcox

I know that feeling, dude. It will hit you. Voice of experience talking here, that first time with someone else will be... okay the experience ITSELF won't be weird, but the day AFTER most DEFINITELY will. Especially if it's at your place. You'll walk around the room and everything will have this odd buzz to it, like all your possessions have gotten used to you being alone, too, and are gently upset that someone else has been around them, touching them, invading their space. It's almost surreal.

Or maybe it was just me. *shrug*

Hmmm, I'm dying to find out.

I keep that in mind for when it happens.

I really like getting the idea of having sex, and then experimenting with my partner trying to see if we can get on the same wavelength at the same time and turn each other on.

Gah...and I'm at work. Between you and the phone call I had yesterday my hormones are freaking out!

She had an amazingly fast sexual response for a woman and pretty much looked at foreplay as a waste of time...one of the things that made tying the woman up such a joy

Impatience sometimes would be me, but foreplay is oh so much more fun when there is time.

Great writing even if it's frustrating to a 1-year and 3-month playful celibate. ;)

i too am at work like that person ^up there^ and now am incredibly horny and am going to attack wolf when he gets here. demmit that i have to wait until 5:30 to jump him. *sigh*

also. .. i agree the whole "scheduled sex" idea is odd, but i've found w/ my current boy that we want sex at the same time and have fallen into a bit of a routine. don't get me wrong, there are times when we just go at it or do it all day/weekend long. usually (if we're in a place where we can do it) i know we'll have sex in the evening and in the morning (if we wake up early enough) on weekdays and weekends it's usually morning and evening and sometimes in the middle of the night. there's nothing better than being w/ someone who's sex drive (and times they like to have sex) coincides w/ yours.

Am envious, but enjoy. =)

Had a boyfriend like the above. It was perfect until he spoke. Alas...the search continues.

Please tell Mr. Wolf, "You're welcome."

Glad to oblige. Heh heh heh.

Re: Please tell Mr. Wolf, "You're welcome."

he already said to thank you. :)

Hmm, that was hot. But I'll pretend that I was more excited by the plumbing and wiring post.

Beautiful writing here.

I could certainly identify the woman I was sleeping with from a roomful of other women even if I all I had to go on was scent.

I once had a lover (american) tell me I "smelled" French. (It was a compliment, according to him.)

I'm sure your Old Spice sets you apart, olfactorily speaking, from the Others.

I should think it would be some trick to distinguish nationality by smell! Hmmm, it makes me curious as to what exactly French would smell like...

Ah, my Old Spice... Why is it that I get the weird feeling that I am the only man under 50 who buys this, and barring a couple of women such as yourself, nobody has the heart to explain my faux pas to me?

I'm interested as to why you interpret my comment as "bringing to light a faux pas?"

In all seriousness, there is nothing more seductive than the subliminal reminder of one's father.

What does a Frenchwoman smell like? Probably a mixture of dark, strong coffee, subway air and Lancome's Attraction.

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