One of the few joys of a 90 minute commute is that the time is a good opportunity to think. Occasionally, random insights assault me as I drive. The following are some of these. I notice that so many people have these dreamcatchers hanging from their rearview mirror. You've seen them: they look like little round spiderwebs after the spider has just captured and eaten a bird. I've heard that they are for trapping nightmares while you are "wandering the spirit realm in your dreams." Don't these things more properly belong in the bedroom? Are that many people planning to fall asleep in their car? If they do fall asleep in their car, are they really planning on sleeping long enough to worry about having a nightmare? Here's a scenario: someone falls asleep while driving and has a nightmare about falling asleep while driving. That would be nasty. I've heard that if you crash in a dream like that, you can die for real! Maybe that's what the dreamcatchers are for. I can see it now, a guy standing beside his car, in a field, trying to figure out how he's going to get back on the road after narrowly escaping a collision with a nearby tree and saying to himself, "Whew! That was close! If it hadn't been for my dreamcatcher..."
Sometimes I worry about those with whom I am sharing road space. Sometimes I see really bad drivers with bumperstickers that say things like "God is my co-pilot," and I think, well maybe He should mutiny then, and take the wheel away from you! Of course the real howlers are those bumperstickers that say, "In case of Rapture, this vehicle will be un-piloted." With some people, this would be an improvement, because at least then the path of the vehicle would be at least partially predictable by the laws of ballistics. I want a bumpersticker that says, "Emergency designated Rapture contingency driver" or "If the Rapture comes, I have dibs on the Porches!"
montecristo) wrote, 