Yeah, Cleveland rocks...
- You don't really know any homosexuals, you just know that there are a lot of them in Lakewood.
- You know you don't really have an accent, the rest of the world does.
- You hear there are always famous people in town, but you have never seen one.
- You hate country music, don't know anyone that does like country music, and yet WGAR just won the music station of the year.
- You find it hard to believe that someone as cool as Tom Hanks made his start here. But you'd brag about it.
- You take credit for Cedar Point even though it is 2 hours away.
- You honestly believe that Cleveland is the best city in the world.
- You know the Tri-C jingle "students for life" and it scares the hell out of you.
- You take Dead Man's Curve at 60 mph holding your breath.
- You know about the Eastside/Westside rivalry, but don't really understand it.
- You will never forget the "Good Morning from the Buzzard Morning Zoo" jingle.
- You know the neighborhood schools went without sports because all the senior citizens refused to pass the levies.
- You actually know how to pronounce Cuyahoga.
- You can't tell Brook Park, Brooklyn, or Old Brooklyn apart.
- You see Christmas lights still up in July.
- You love BW-3, but have no clue what the heck weck is.
- You find yourself singing "Garfield 1-2323" in the shower.
- You are still dumbfounded by the Leaping Fountain in Tower City.
- You have never ridden in a taxi.
- You wear shorts the first day of the year it isn't below 30 and snowing, just because you can.
- You have gotten 3 speeding tickets, and they are all from the mile long stretch of a suburb named Linndale.
- You have no idea how exactly to get to the Flats, you just kind of end up on a bank and start partying.
- You really don't know what the Warehouse District is, you just know that it's a great place to party.
- You know who the Jake really is.
- You hate Baltimore and you have never been there.
- You love St. Patty's Day; it's your number one holiday, and you aren't Irish.
- You are still relishing 1987 when we ALMOST made it to the Super Bowl.
- You counted down with the monument in Tower City to the exact second in 1999 when the Browns came back.
- You heard Bill Clinton and Drew Carey love Parma Pierogies, but you have yet to ever eat there.
- You know Tower City isn't a city at all.
- You are Polish.
- You find that stories of Little Italy still send chills down your spine.
- You admit that at least half of your wardrobe is Tribe apparel.
Well here is a good monologue from Jeff Foxworthy about our great state....These are too funny.. and true! Enjoy! Comedian Jeff Foxworthy on Ohio: You may be from Ohio (pronounced ah-hi-uh) if:
- You think all Pro football teams are supposed to wear orange!
- You know all the 4 seasons: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.
- You live less than 30 miles from some college or university.
- You know what a buckeye really is, and have a recipe for candy ones.
- "Toward the lake" means "north" and "toward the river" means south.
- You know if other Ohioans are from southern or northern Ohio as soon as they open their mouths.
- You can spell words like Cuyahoga, Olentangy, Bellefontaine, Tuscarawas, Wapakoneta and you know which letter is doubled in Cincinnati.
- "Vacation" means spending a day at Cedar Point in the summer and deer hunting in the fall.
- You measure distance in minutes.
- Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
- Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
- You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
- You know what should be knee-high by the Fourth of July.
- You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?"
- You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both un-locked.
- You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
- You carry jumper cables in your car.
- You know what 'pop' is.
- You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
- Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
- You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightgown.
- The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires 6 pages for sports.
- If you actually get these jokes -- then forward 'em to your OHIO friends