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Montecristo Captain Quixote


The World Line of the Horizon Star

Some would say I was a lost man in a lost world

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Montecristo Captain Quixote

My Life In Movies. NOW What Would You Call It?

A man in a fugue state, meets an obnoxious man on the road and gets into a fight with him and kills him. Later, when the man comes out of his fugue state and finds out who he is again, he comes to discover that the man he killed was none other than his dear old dad. In addition to this, he lears that the delightful woman with whom he has been enjoying an emotionally fullfilling relationship and screaming fur-suit latex bondage sex, is really none other than his birth mother from whom he was separated as a child. In a fit of horror and revulsion, he rips his own eyes out of his head. Eeek. Many people would easilly recognize this as the classical Greek tragedy, "Oedipus Rex." Tragedy and comedy follow certain accepted forms, with which most people acquire a passing familiarity, if they've any literary inclination to them at all. The form dictates the genre and gives the piece structure that a work of art needs in order to call itself art.

Isn't it funny, and fortuitous really, that life, in most cases, cannot be pigeon-holed into one form of drama or art or another. Art may immitate life, or visa versa, but life is never as simple as art. Life is a bit harder to classify, because, as Ayn Rand said, "Art is a selective recreation of reality according to an artist's metaphysical value judgements." There is nothing selective about life -- it's the whole enchillada -- full frontal reality. So much can happen in the course of living, even within the context of a short time-frame...

Imagine the story of a man. He is a software engineer, married, with two daughters. He's working on a project that will very likely change his family's entire mode of living for the better. His wife meets someone she likes screwing better than him. She wrecks his home and family, packs up an enormous chunk of their worldly possessions and his daughters and moves out, leaving him alone and beset by the stresses of being dumped into a new life for which he was not looking. She divorces him. In the process, she files the paperwork in such a fraudulent way that the court awards her more money than he can possibly pay and survive, and she doesn't care. To add insult to injury, she got his check garnished in order to finance her fantasy life with this somebody else with whom she's replaced him. The courts don't care either. A legal battle is brewing as the guy is trying to figure out how to keep his life from going completely into the crapper and how he can still be a father to his missing daughters.

This is drama. This is chick-flick material. It's nothing that nobody hasn't seen before, and it's a story which everyone has seen at one time or another on the big screen, or at least most women have. If you saw a trailer for it at the theater, and were into chick-flicks, you might decide to go see it, although most women would realize that they wouldn't be catching it with a guy for company -- there's not enough sex and bloodshed.

The story changes. The protagonist is struggling to get his legal ducks in line, so that he does not drown in a sea of red ink and be unable to afford to have his daughters visit him once in awhile. He's trying to manage a new home, after having to move out of his old one. He's trying to put together some sort of life out of this soul-corroding singleness into which he has been thrust, when one day, he meets someone. The person he meets is an intriguing woman, who piques his curiosity. He learns a bit more about her. Some time later, he realizes that he is becoming infatuated with her, but can't figure out why, exactly. He comes to realize that she has awakened a sleeping desire for spiritual values, the quest for which he has, at this point in his life allowed to lapse over the course of the preceding years. He asks her out, wanting to get to know her a bit better and see if she's really everything as wonderful as he suspects. It turns out though, that the woman is in love with someone else. The protagonist suffers disappointment, but realizes that, despite the sting, he has come to learn a couple of valuable lessons about life and himself from the experience.

Oh, now it's turning into a tale of bittersweet, unrequitted love. Women watching the trailer are now planning to drag the significant other to it. They are surreptitiously planning to pack an extra hankie in the purse and are scratching their heads trying to figure out how to tell their boyfriends with a straight face that there is the possibility of a car-chase, maybe at least one gratuitous explosion, or a naked boob-shot somewhere in it.

Then the unexpected happens. The protagonist gets a letter in the mail from the Internal Revenue Service. Something is wrong with one of the Social Security Numbers for his children. The form letter the hive-minded bureaucrats sent him doesn't explain which one, or what exactly, is wrong. They just demand money. The error comes out to be a couple thousand dollars, which the protagonist doesn't have. He tries to call the IRS and resolve the problem, but is soon lost in the Kafka-esque maze which is the Washington Mandarinate.

Meanwhile, the ant-like minions of the Empire have been poking about on their computers and discovered that he supports a tax-honesty/tax-resistance movement. Soon the hyperventillating desk jockies have quite convinced themselves that he is a "dangerous subversive." A memo is sent to the Department of Homeland Security...

What's this? Faceless, thoughtless, bureaucratic government tyranny and uniformed thuggery? A corrupt Imperial Washington goes on a mad, unjust, crusade against the average Joe Citizen? This has the hint of taut political thriller / action adventure movie. The guys have cocked an eyelid and roused from the semi-doze into which they had fallen. There could end up being car chases, seedy characters, gun battles, and explosions in this picture after all!

Just when the hero has enough outrageous problems though, he is suddenly confronted by invaders in his home! Who knows exactly when they arrived? They are as common as your back yard and as alien as a distant galaxy. They are ruthless. They are relentless. They are driven by a single imperative: to consume, and remove every edible organic substance back to their strange hives. Individually, they are nothing. They can be wiped out in the dozens, and the hundreds, but they come in the thousands, and the millions. Using all his wit, and perseverance, and the tools of modern technology, can the hero defend his home against this strange creeping menace?

Wow! Holy Phase IV, Batman! Now it's a sci-fi adventure thriller! The guys are awake, and half the women watching the trailer are rolling their eyes figuring, there had to be a catch, somewhere. An invasion of ants has turned the tale into a story of colony-minded alien invaders bent upon pillage and destruction. Could laser battles and space-ships be far behind in this progression?

Ach! Too much! There is way too much going on at once in this movie! The problems are multiplying. At first, the ridiculous problems infesting my life were worrying, then dispiriting, then stressing me out of my skull, but now things are just becoming ridiculous! Like the horrendous orgy of bloodspilling and disaster dealt out in the final minutes of American Werewolf in London, anything played to an extreme becomes comedy. That's it. My life has become low comedy. "Nothing for kings! Nothing for crowns! Something for lovers, liars, and clowns!" I'm just glad it's Friday.

That song just refuses to go away. I keep hearing it on KFOG, and I love it. It's very catchy and has great lyrics.

Love Throw A Line
Patty Griffin

Let's write a story of a tidal wave
We've run out of luck
We've run out of days
We've run out of gas
A hundred miles away
From a station

There's a war and a plague
Smoke and disaster
Lions in the coliseum
Screams of laughter
Motherless children
A witness and a Bible
Nothing but rain ahead
No chance for our survival

Just before the flood comes
Just before the night falls
Just before the blood runs
Into the valley
Just before my eyes go
Just before we can't go any further
Love throws a line to you and me

I heard someone calling me
From very far away
Sister oh sister
Did I hear them say?
Prisoner of this endless
Story of pain
You hold the key
Try to find the way

And just before the flood comes
Just before the night falls
Just before the blood runs
Into the valley
Just before my eyes go
Just before it all blows to pieces
Love throws a line to you and me

Love you better pick up your pace
If we're gonna win this race
Love we're running out of time
Pull yourself out from behind

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Fur suit? Patricide? Your life has taken some exciting turns as of late. I don't have any reccomendations for dealing with the IRS, but dish detergent and boric acid may be effective in dealing with your Borg invasion.

The incest-kink and patricide was an example of tragedy -- for contrast. Those are not problems besetting me in particular! I still need to find a Father's Day gift for my Dad as he is alive and kicking and it is to be hoped, in excellent health.

I spoke to the IRS cretins, and they have lead me to believe that they are going to roll over for me. When paperwork was filed for Jackie, after I married her mother, her last name was changed to my last name from Crystal's maiden name. Crystal and I married a year and three months after Jackie was born (a long story with which I will only bore someone upon request). Anyway, apparently, nobody told the bastards at the Social Slavery Administration about the change.

As for the mineature Borg, I have put down ant traps which are supposed to kill the queen and all, when the ants take the poison back to the nest. I've also been repeatedly scrubbing away their nasty little scent trails to confuse the bastards into giving up their invasion. I hope it works. I don't know about the boric acid. I'd have to go see if I can find any at the drugstore. Good call. Thanks for the advice!

Re: Well, to clarify...

:) Glad to hear the good news about your dad, I was never really worried.
I notice you don't deny the fur suit implication.
(Oh yeah, it falls unde the umbrella of "kink... for contrast." heh)

Consider "the furries" pretty much ruled out...

There are some things even a guy like me is not inclined to try sober. That's probably one of them. I wouldn't rule it out entirely though, depending upon who it was in the Babs Bunny costume. Heh heh.

Forgive my laughter, but the part about the hankie in a purse was just too much, man. It's good that you can laugh... :-D

Sometimes, at the most inapropriate times! I hope you survived Shan's monster party!

Re: I can always laugh.

Nah, Kathryn slapped my head too many times, giving me irreversable brain damage, leading to my current vegetative state. They'll be pulling the plug shortly.

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