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Montecristo Captain Quixote


The World Line of the Horizon Star

Some would say I was a lost man in a lost world

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Montecristo Captain Quixote

How to get a fat head without even trying.

...and now for something completely different

The following tale is not for those whose constitutions or sensibilities preclude their enjoyment of things somewhat earthy and personal. I haven't written of anything like this before, and I may never again, but I am just feeling so damnably smug that I can't help myself. This is your only warning, so if you proceed further, you have only yourself to blame.

A long time ago, in another country, metaphorically speaking, I was engaged in amourous experiments with a wonderful lady with whom I was on very intimate terms. Who am I kidding -- we were into full-scale research. Don't ask who it was, because a gentleman never ever tells such things. Even in this debauched age there are some secrets worth keeping and some coins of memory are debased when circulated. Nevertheless, some facts can be told, as the other party to this story is a bit less discreet than I am being and is eager to share her experiences with selected friends. More about this willingness is crucial to the story, as will become apparent presently.

On the occasion in question, we were exploring her Graftenberg Spot or G-spot in the colloquial. She had never "gone there" before and became intrigued by the sensations and the possibilities when I told her I could feel it with my fingers. I was also enjoying my oral proclivities at the time, and in my humble opinion, this is the best way to indulge in this kind of play. At any rate, the experiment was an unmitigated success. I am not a widely experienced man, but what few women I have known, without exception, have taken to exercises of this kind like starving lionesses unleashed in the middle of a Tyson Chicken Farm, and this girl was no exception. This was the event which introduced my charming partner to the great sustained orgasm also known as "The Rolling O," or by her own original coinage: "The Energizer Bunny Orgasm," so called because "they just keep going and going" -- much like this sentence. At any rate, she became very fond of this practice, and I was very happy to have introduced her to it, even if there is no way in hell I could ever claim to be the person who invented it. Trust me, there's nothing new under the sun taking humanity as a whole under consideration, but the individual lives in a world of infinite new experiences and surprising discoveries.

In fact, my lady became so fond of this practice that sometime after she and I had ceased sharing intimate relations she desired to share her acquired wisdom with her friends. She posted a how-to manual in her LiveJournal, explaining the "secrets" of The Energizer Bunny Orgasm and proselytizing heavily. Naturally I was elated with having a modest but appreciable part in helping this lady along the path of enlightenment and was delighted that she thought so highly of my humble tutelage that she felt inspired to spread the word.

Sometime later, while surfing around LiveJournal, I ran into an entry by a lady who had obviously encountered the how-to entry posted by my sweetheart. Apparently, the lady was terribly impressed. Apparently, she was so impressed that she went back for more. Finally, it's really beginning to look like addiction! Ah, there's nothing like the satisfaction of seeing good ideas spread so energetically.

The theory of Six Degrees of Separation apparently has some merit. What a lark running into that. It's amazing what you find when you're not looking. You never know how many lives you're going to touch in unusual ways as time passes, but sometimes you get a glimpse. Kind of makes me feel a bit like a sexual George Bailey...

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She's hooked, she's hooked, her brain is cooked!

*checks non-existent day planner*

So, what do you have going on next Thursday? heh heh heh

Hmmmm, Thursday, let's see, oh yeah, that's when I sit down with my big book of Forbidden Uncommon Carnal Knowledge (for Dummies) and bone-up (forgive me, couldn't help it) on how to corrupt impressionable young ladies.

Hey. Who you callin' IMPRESSIONABLE?

Ha! :)

Yes, yes. But WHO is the lady you mention?!?

Come on man, you can tell us!


*sigh* You really want to know? You know, I do have my integrity to consider. I did claim that I'd never tell. On the other hand, after I mentioned the above post to her, my former sweetie told me she doesn't really care if share her original entry with interested friends, although she's not opening her journal up to the public, so there's not much point in giving a link. I guess I will just have to cross-post the entry, with permission of course. I will cross-post her original entry in my next entry. I swear, one of the many functions that women fulfill for the human race is keeping men from being able to issue categorical and absolute statements with supreme confidence.

Honestly, the whole point of the post was to point out that ideas often take on a life of their own, and that our influence goes much farther and in more unexpected directions than most of us realize. What you will find in the post is probably not much better, information wise, than what can be found in any of the numerous G-Spot manuals out on the market, except that this post just contains more personal observations. Be that as it may, I am not going to foolishly stand athwart the desire for edification! Read the next post -- coming as soon as I can get it transcribed and formatted -- with any luck, before I fall face first into my keyboard from lack of sleep. You're such a brat. I hope you get a charlie-horse from doing this... ;)

You never know how many lives you're going to touch in unusual ways


(I knew there was a reason I liked you...)

...and here I was thinking that it is the mango icecream which would eventually seduce you. Heh heh.

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