Robert (Bro. Pepper-spray of Reasoned Discussion) (montecristo) wrote,
Robert (Bro. Pepper-spray of Reasoned Discussion)

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How to get a fat head without even trying.

...and now for something completely different

The following tale is not for those whose constitutions or sensibilities preclude their enjoyment of things somewhat earthy and personal. I haven't written of anything like this before, and I may never again, but I am just feeling so damnably smug that I can't help myself. This is your only warning, so if you proceed further, you have only yourself to blame.

A long time ago, in another country, metaphorically speaking, I was engaged in amourous experiments with a wonderful lady with whom I was on very intimate terms. Who am I kidding -- we were into full-scale research. Don't ask who it was, because a gentleman never ever tells such things. Even in this debauched age there are some secrets worth keeping and some coins of memory are debased when circulated. Nevertheless, some facts can be told, as the other party to this story is a bit less discreet than I am being and is eager to share her experiences with selected friends. More about this willingness is crucial to the story, as will become apparent presently.

On the occasion in question, we were exploring her Graftenberg Spot or G-spot in the colloquial. She had never "gone there" before and became intrigued by the sensations and the possibilities when I told her I could feel it with my fingers. I was also enjoying my oral proclivities at the time, and in my humble opinion, this is the best way to indulge in this kind of play. At any rate, the experiment was an unmitigated success. I am not a widely experienced man, but what few women I have known, without exception, have taken to exercises of this kind like starving lionesses unleashed in the middle of a Tyson Chicken Farm, and this girl was no exception. This was the event which introduced my charming partner to the great sustained orgasm also known as "The Rolling O," or by her own original coinage: "The Energizer Bunny Orgasm," so called because "they just keep going and going" -- much like this sentence. At any rate, she became very fond of this practice, and I was very happy to have introduced her to it, even if there is no way in hell I could ever claim to be the person who invented it. Trust me, there's nothing new under the sun taking humanity as a whole under consideration, but the individual lives in a world of infinite new experiences and surprising discoveries.

In fact, my lady became so fond of this practice that sometime after she and I had ceased sharing intimate relations she desired to share her acquired wisdom with her friends. She posted a how-to manual in her LiveJournal, explaining the "secrets" of The Energizer Bunny Orgasm and proselytizing heavily. Naturally I was elated with having a modest but appreciable part in helping this lady along the path of enlightenment and was delighted that she thought so highly of my humble tutelage that she felt inspired to spread the word.

Sometime later, while surfing around LiveJournal, I ran into an entry by a lady who had obviously encountered the how-to entry posted by my sweetheart. Apparently, the lady was terribly impressed. Apparently, she was so impressed that she went back for more. Finally, it's really beginning to look like addiction! Ah, there's nothing like the satisfaction of seeing good ideas spread so energetically.

The theory of Six Degrees of Separation apparently has some merit. What a lark running into that. It's amazing what you find when you're not looking. You never know how many lives you're going to touch in unusual ways as time passes, but sometimes you get a glimpse. Kind of makes me feel a bit like a sexual George Bailey...

Tags: exuberance, humor, sex, women

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