montecristo

As for me, well, blues attack. Weird as hell. I hate getting them, especially the "ambush" ones, but like I said, I'll feel better after a good night's sleep. I've just had to finish up some stuff on which I was working and couldn't sack out at a reasonable time. Feh.

Sometimes it gets difficult. I get to feeling like I've lost my "place" in life, and I wonder where I am going to be able to fit in again. I miss what I had. Even if it was not the best thing for my wife and I, I did work hard to build it, and right now, everything that I worked to put together is gone -- and it was something that I always thought I'd have. I've pretty much gotten used to being alone again. I've always been very self-entertaining. Nevertheless, sometimes the silence, and not having someone around just to talk to or hear their voice, when I need to do so, sticks a nasty little voodoo pin in me and I can't shake it until I sack out and get a new day for perspective. It's kind of a rotten thing with which to have to deal. I suspect that you know what I mean. I think you tend to value conversation as highly as I do. I know I've seen you question your "place" in life also before, as I also have seen the esteemed Mr. Footle do so. It hits everybody now and again.

Mostly, I was lamenting my lack of place in life. Sometimes, I get to feeling kind of useless, and lacking in purpose, because my family was a big part of my purpose in life. More than that though, it is missing that familiar companionship to which I had become very accustomed. I can deal with being by myself, because I get along with myself quite fine. Heh. It's just that sometimes I get to wanting, really badly, a little better conversation than just myself.

Ah well, I don't have much time and mental space to notice such things through the week, with work occupying my mind and my time. That's a plus. Also, if I get a reasonable amount of sleep, that tends to keep things in perspective as well. When I get like that, it's usually a clue that it is a good idea to go lie on my back and look for holes in my eyelids. I'm back on more solid and circumspect ground this morning. Shocking enough to contemplate, but today's Monday looks better than yesterday's Sunday. Heh. ...and now I must be at 'em!