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Montecristo Captain Quixote

montecristo

The World Line of the Horizon Star

Some would say I was a lost man in a lost world


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Montecristo Captain Quixote
montecristo

Life is what happens when one is too busy to write about it.

What I meant to post yesterday.

Life is what happens to you when you are too busy to notice. I think I believe it. Gah. I have been busier than a cat on a marble floor lately. It was a beautiful spring day today, a tad cool, and very breezy, but all in all, a pretty nice day. The sunshine is certainly an improvement over the rains that went down last night. Perhaps that is the last of them until fall. Frankly, I am tired of winter, even if it is a mild, California winter, where the daytime temperature rarely drops below 50°F. I am more than ready for that relentlessly sunny California summer.

For the past four days, I have been flat on my back in bed, staring at my bedroom ceiling and reading juvenile Robert Asprin science fiction stories. The weekend before last, I strained my back taking a weed-eater and lawn mower to my horribly overgrown yard. Tuesday, it started getting "twingy" on me, and by Wednesday evening it was pretty sore. Fortunately, I managed the drive from Alameda to Sacramento Wednesday night to pick up my daughters for their time with me before it decided to go completely south on me. Thursday, Friday, and Saturday I could could barely get out of bed and hobble decrepitly to the bathroom. Due to the incapacity, which deprived me of my obsessive online life, I was unable to wish happy birthday to some friends of mine, when I wanted to do so. The eloquent, funny, and well-traveled emmabovary had a birthday on Wednesday. I also wanted to warn all of our mutual friends not to wish prolixfootle a happy birthday on Wednesday, either, as he hates to be reminded of his birthday, when it is his birthday. I provide this public service annually. Fortunately, We can all extend felicitations to him now, since his birthday is days past. It was also the witty and prolific eithnepdb's birthday as well, on Friday, and I missed that. Heh. No cake for me.

Actually, I haven't had a lot of variety in my diet over the weekend. My daughters and I ate delivered pizza for two days, because I couldn't get out, but by Saturday night, I managed to drive to the grocery store and shop with them. Geeze, but they go through supplies like an army of ants. They got a bunch of stuff that I'm pretty sure they don't get when their mother takes them grocery shopping. I pointed this out to them but they pointed out that, "Mom can't afford it." Heh! Like I'm made of money.

Unfortunately, my daughters do see me that way, to a certain extent, kind of a walking wallet. Of course, the ex-wife tended to look at me that way as well, for extended periods throughout our marriage. When we were living in Lodi, I was on the road for three hours a day through the week just commuting to my job in Alameda. Their mother pointed out all the time, how I was "never around" and no doubt continues to gleefully do so. That's some pretty big hypocrissy, considering that she was one of the primary reasons we didn't move any closer to my job. Feh. At any rate, they mentioned this little bit of information to me in the car on the way to Livermore last Wednesday. It stung, although I am certain that they did not intend that, as it was an offhand remark. Certainly, I believe that I was much more involved with my family than many other men would have been in my position. Unlike their mother, I certainly never attempted to detatch as much of my life from my family as she did. She never got tired of telling us all how much we chafed her lifestyle, and how much she never got enough time to "do the things she wanted to do by herself." Heh, as if we were holding her in durance vile. The truth is, she did as she pleased, often even when it meant that someone else had to clean up the mess. At least my children never heard that kind of stuff from me. Ah well, that's neither here nor there, now. Things are what they are. Perhaps they will come to see things differently, as they get older. It's not like they don't enjoy the time we spend together, even if I was boring as hell this past weekend.

So much has been happening lately that it is hard to recount what is going on. I have had so much to write, and yet so little time to write it. How many ends of candle can I burn? I honestly don't know. How much is too much? On the ninth of this month I went to court to see if I could get an agreement with the ex on how much money she's going to get out of me every month. What the court originally gave her is ridiculous. If I knew a year and a half ago, when this idiocy got stared, what I know now, I would have got myself a lawyer much sooner and started looking out for my interests, instead of allowing everything to default. Naturally, Crystal dug in her heels and decided not to negotiate anything. Typical. My lawyer wanted to make some sort of deal with her, and I was not averse to that, but apparently, the Lionel Hutz (obscure Simpson's cartoon reference) she hired must have told her that she could "have it all" by the way she was acting. Perhaps not though, because that's just how she is naturally. If she's paying that fool anywhere near what I am paying for my lawyer then she's getting screwed.

Since we couldn't reach an agreement, the thing went to a hearing. The judge sat at the bench entering notes into a laptop computer. I didn't get a really good read on him, but he seems like a pretty fair individual. My lawyer had herself together really well on this, and I think she made a lot of points. I don't want Crystal getting any more money from me except for my daughters. Child support is one thing, but spousal support, after the way she has behaved and after the situation in which she has herself now, is totally outrageous. She's her new whatever-he-is's problem now, not mine. You only get one family, at least, one at a time, and she has it. It is past time for her to get entirely out of my life. We've been divorced for a year, next month and she's due to drop another child. She has no more claim for money out of my pocket. Gah. The damned court granted her a divorce; where in the hell is mine? I loved the part where she was asked whether she felt entitled to money from me and all she could answer was, "I wish I didn't need it." How lame, but it was surprising to see her conscience operating that way. Even she knows that she's being a total sponge. With any luck, the judge will agree, but he may sit on the decision for up to ninety days -- and this one loves to ruminate, according to my lawyer.

McGuffin is proceeding slowly, even though Robert and I have been devoting much more time to the project lately. I've been over at his house in Berkeley almost every night, working until nine or ten o'clock and then driving the thirty five miles home to Livermore, up until the middle of last week. It was getting kind of hectic, until this weekend. My sleep was starting to get a bit thin, and I definitely have been neglecting things I should be doing around my house. There is so much to do. Currently, we are preparing information for our potential patent lawyer. The paperwork and documentation for this thing just never ends. In addition to this, Robert has resigned from the company where we have our day jobs. It was not entirely his decision. Apparently, he has been entirely too free with his plans and our employers started to fear that he would leave to work on McGuffin full time in the middle of a large project upon which the company is soon to embark. They not-so-subtlely "encouraged" him to resign now, so they wouldn't be replacing him in the middle of the project, so he did.

Some of the people here decided to throw a goodbye lunch for him over at the Pasta Pelican restaurant this afternoon, which was kind of fun. There was a surprising turnout. I had bolognaise, which is really tasty. It was organized by Deborah J., who has sort of made herself responsible for being the company's auxilliary social director. Heh. She's an extrovert. I went into her office this afternoon to settle up for lunch -- twenty people spent about three hundred dollars for lunch over at the Pelican, which is good Italian food -- and she was showing me some of the most interesting pictures she had taken in Egypt. We have some people here who are really good with a camera. Rob T. took a bunch of pictures, as is typical for outings among this bunch. Maybe I will post a few, when he finishes tweaking them.

I'm going back over to Robert's house this evening. With any luck, we'll be able to put together enough information to convince our patent lawyers that they want to take this patent application for us on contingency -- deferred payment until we get funding -- for a cut of the equity in the company we are fouding, once we can find a backer or two. There's just so much writing to be done. This project has been quite an adventure, but it is also quite a lot of work.


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1) Thank you for the birthday wishes.
2) Stop complaining about California's "winter". You aren't the one developing scurvy here from lack of vitamin D.
3) I'm sorry, but I hate your ex-wife. I hope karma exists and one day she suffers as she has made those around her suffer. To poison the children's minds by saying "Dad was never around" while you broke your ass just so she could stay at home, never work, AND fuck around on you...probably liked the fact you commuted so many miles because it gave her extra time to tend to her lovers. I hope she never sees a dime of "spousal support" and the judge has the sense to see through her poverty act. She is Bad Bad Bad shit.
4) May the judgement be pronounced definitively and may you become a bazillionaire 2 weeks later. Get yourself a nice 25-year old girlfriend and toast your ex-wife from the top of the Hyatt Regency.

I know a few women up to fifteen years younger than I whom I would be interested in dating. Beyond that age difference limit, there's just not enough common ground. I wouldn't know what to do with a "trophy wife." I'm not much for fuck-toys; I want the whole woman. I'm greedy like that. Life experience and expectations which are too dissimilar are probably not going to work out. I do appreciate the sentiment though.

As for the California winter, I'm not really complaining. I'm just kind of tired of the rain. As I said, I'm ready for those relentlessly sunny, cloudless days. I am well aware that there are many places in the world, where hapless humanity is still bedevilled by snow! Ack!

The ex is a mixed bag. She's really not a horrible person; she actually has many good qualities -- she's just weak, and I'm not feeling all that charitable in dealing with her. You're too late too -- she's already been getting far too much spousal support, since last April. I'm trying to get that part stopped, seeing as how she's now married again, in all but name. My daughters are one thing -- I don't begrudge a single penny of what I spend for them -- but she has no business expecting me to support her and her boyfriend, as if I owe her a rebate on her life with me. She didn't work out for me, either, and you wouldn't see me crying to the court for her money, even if she did have more than me. I just want to sever the connection, and have my life to myself again.

I really don't think she's told the girls I'm wasn't around out of a sense of malice, but for all my married life I've always felt a bit "excluded" by her, and no doubt she's felt the same about me, despite my best efforts. Yeah, I know that she put some of my commute time to "good use" as well, although that is water over the dam, now. At any rate, this particular perception of me has turned up in remarks she's made before, and it has always frustrated me, because I couldn't figure out what more I could have done to make her happy with me. Incompatibility sucks. I'm just tired of fighting it, now that it doesn't matter anymore anyway. The way I see it, the court gave her a divorce, but I'm still waiting for my half of it. Heh.


Re: Ack! Twenty five?

I was using the 25-year old as a metaphor to mean it's time for you to do something heady, lush and purely enjoyable; with a partner who won't rake you over the coals or fuck up your head. 25 or 30 or 35...no matter, just someone who will let you think about something other than work or the wallet-emptying ex-wife. Look at how our friend fearsclave is blossoming...

I'm sorry, again, but "weak" is not an adjective I would use about your ex. One has to be fairly strong to juggle as many balls as she was--homeschooling the girls, giving herself emotionally and physically to both a husband and a lover, running a household, indulging in her own hobbies. No, Count, she is not weak, and I beg you to reframe your perception of her. It's OK to call a spade a spade; it will not reflect badly upon you. She is self-centered and immature and needs drama. That is why she continues to pester you.

Hey, you should have divorced in France! I get no child nor spousal support, despite being married (for 12 years) into a wealthy and noble family. Assets were quickly shifted from son back to father, bank accounts emptied, so when we went before the judge at the first swipe, she looked at my bank account, looked at his, looked at my age, and said "You are young enough to go back to work. No American bitch is going to bleed our good Frenchman dry here! Child support? Zero!" And the gavel came down.

Of course, he will have to live knowing he did nothing to contribute financially to his children's well-being. Whereas you can sleep easy each and every night.

Ah yes, our good friend fearsclave seems to be doing very nicely for himself. He's made one heck of a fast comeback, by my reckoning, for which he is to be congratulated, or at least held in awe for his remarkable good fortune. At the risk of jinxing his good thing though, I would worry about things being a case of rebound fever if I were him, but hey, if it works, more power to him. He's a great guy and he ought to have a lady who appreciates him. Frankly, I'm nevertheless amazed.

You've an interesting perspective on the ex. To be fair and give the devil her due, she does have a certain bullish ability to stick to the things she believes are worth accomplishing. On the other hand, she's run from one relationship to the next with not six month's breathing room between them since she's been about fifteen years old. Also, as I've come to realize since being away from her, she's always been leaning on and using one or even more men for her identity and sense of place, and means of living for years now. I can't respect that. Self-absorbed I would agree with, and possibly even immature, but not a drama hound. Other than a couple of unwelcome comments on my page, she's not pestered me, although she hasn't had to do so, with the court being so accommodating of her wishes. Mostly, she just fills me with an overwhelming sense of ennui every time I see her. I'm reminded of the lines from the Dylan tune, "Positively 4th Street":

Yes, I wish that for just one time,
You could stand inside my shoes,
You'd know what a drag it is,
To see you
As for your ex, well, I can't muster much respect for a guy who won't support his own children. I miss mine quite a bit, and would have them live with me entirely, if they wanted to do so. I don't know how your ex is going to keep his daughters' respect once they are old enough to understand the situation. That's just sad. Frankly, I wouldn't mind giving my ex the money I'm giving her if it weren't for a few things:
  1. She's gouging me for more than I can afford and has been a royal pain about refusing to even discuss the issue. I'm tired of being frustrated in trying to deal with her, and seeing her lust for things to which she is not entitled has been a very rude awakening.
  2. I have come to realize that she never felt about me what I felt about her. She's been just using me and lying to me and effectively treating me with contempt for a long time, and that really smarts, given what I tried to be for her and what I wanted, and especially what I stupidly put up with.
  3. She had my check garnished to take more much more than we had originally discussed, even after I was gracious enough to let her have damned near everything else she wanted. That kind of mercenary ingratitude sticks in my throat.
I never would have believed that it was possible for her to kill off the affection I once felt for her, even after she left, but she sure as hell managed to do so. Even today, it still feels "weird" to consider the fact that I used to have a wife. I never thought it would happen to me. Nevertheless, she has become almost a stranger to me, and I just don't care about her anymore at all, for the most part. It would suit me just as well never to have to deal with her again -- she's not proved to have been much of a friend. I don't want in her life and I desperately want to scrape her out of mine. It's so weird to feel that way, and know it to be true, but there it is. Heh.

You may want to be cautious about founding a company before your divorce. Sometimes the spouse is "entitled" to part of the company... I doubt if it applies, but you should be sure...

I've been divorced since April of last year. It just doesn't seem like I'm getting all of the "benefits" of being divorced because my ex is still getting money from me to which she really isn't entitled...long story.

I hope the judge doesn't ruminate for too long. What you've described is about as open-and-shut a case of alimony abuse as I've heard in a while. Good luck with that, and with the funding for your venture!

I agree with Noah! (Hi. Boobs.)

Oh, Knights-Who-Say "Boobs"...

Are you saying "boobs" to that man?

Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say "boobs" at will to a gentlemen. There is a pestilence upon this land; nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress at this period in history.


Re: Oh, Knights-Who-Say "Boobs"...

Someone is jonesing for Spam-A-Lot tickets, I think. :-)

Thanks, Mars. I feel loved. :-)

I don't know about that...

The justice system is really messed up. The idea of what marriage and family are and how they should be nurtured or broken up generates an outlandish spectrum of opinions. I've certainly read about some incredible cases of miscarried justice, since I started reading on this topic. I certainly don't like the situation in which I find myself, and something has to give soon, one way or another, as it is not really financially tennable, but there are more gross injustices out there, which is really scary.

What was really annoying in this instance is that I sat there in the court room and everything seemed to revolve, one way or another, around her -- how much did she really need, how able was she to generate income, how much did her boyfriend contribute to her, etc. ad nauseam. Nobody, not even my own lawyer, thought it pertinent to ask questions like how much could I really afford to give her, or even better, why I would even owe her anything at all, beyond support for my children, especially given her current circumstances. It seemed to me that the entire system regards the husband as not much more than a money tree, from which it is prudent to harvest some percentage of the fruit in support of the ex-wife, just because he's there. Feh! I just have no idea why anyone would think that the ex is entitled to her life, plus mine too, after she's written me out of hers.


For the past four days, I have been flat on my back in bed, staring at my bedroom ceiling and reading

The Full Moon again! It *struck* many places, before the fact [this month's fullness was 3/25]. It got me, during the night of 3/26-3/27. Now I learn that it *struck* you too. [sighhh]

Believe me, I'll know when the April Full Moon is coming. And hide, as much as possible. :-(

Don't get me wrong. I love the Full Moon. She's beautiful, mysterious, fascinating, a joy to behold. But at certain times, she can bring havoc into our little human lives. Somehow... Somehow... :-(

O, swear not by the moon, th' inconstant moon,
That monthly changes in her circled orb

Romeo and Juliet, Act II, Scene II
William Shakespeare

Heh heh, interesting theory, but suspect that the weed eater, with which I had been scything my overgrown yard, was the more likely culprit!


At least you aren't as nervous as a cat in a roomful of rocking chairs!
Back care tips: rest, walk, don't forget to drink water, and drugs, lots of drugs. (jk about the last)

Moderation in all things

Too much Extra-strength Enditol is not good for me. Heh. It wasn't the pain that was the worst of it. It was like someone had pulled the muscles out of my back. It wasn't that it hurt too much to move; rather it was that my back muscles seemed to lack the strength to lift my upper half and hold it upright over my feet. It was really annoying! As of yesterday though, I've been fine.

I don't know to what end the advice to consume more water was given, but I get as much walking in as I can, and concerning the rest, I didn't have any choice in the matter. It's hard to do anything but rest when you're not able to be up and around. I got enough rest to last me a week!


I'm glad that you're doing better now

The water part is mainly that when you are stuck in bed you may tend to neglect hydration.

*hugs* and much strength to what you've been dealing with mentally and physically. Just know you're not alone and good thoughts with Robert!

On the weather front...I so want it to be Sunny already. I love the rain and yet at this time I just want it to stop for a little while. Never would have thought I'd say it, but I am.

I've been meaning to add you to my friends list for some time, but since you have once again committed the crime of Making Too Damn Much Sense in libertarianism, I feel I can no longer put it off. ;-)

Anyway, it seems we share much in common, other than the marital status. Cheers.

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