We went out last Monday, by ourselves. Hmm. That was a rare occasion. It was some event staged by the girls’ gymnastics studio — they offer to look after the charges from six to ten while the parents go out. Probably, the thinking is that parents would be looking for some time away from the kids to do a bit of last minute Christmas shopping together. Anyway, we didn’t have any more shopping to do so we ended up going to dinner and a movie. I couldn’t tell what in the hell was on her mind, and she got all pissy with me when I attempted to find out a couple of days before. Why act attracted to me and receptive and then become obscure and reticent whenever I show any interest? I let the matter drop. It never gets me anywhere to try. I guess I should just accept the fact that she occasionally plays head games with herself that are unfathomable to me, that have nothing to do with me, or what she feels about me, and just leave it go at that. I shouldn't try to understand it or even respond to it. It doesn’t pay to try to figure out what the heck she is thinking. It doesn't help and it just pisses her off. All the occasion succeeded in doing was confusing me...as if that’s new. I really doubt that she’s attempting to come to some new accord with me, if that is even possible. It’s not as if she’s going to come to me whispering dirty talk and wearing nothing but a peignoir. I am not for her, at least not anymore. Why does she appear to be flirting with the idea of attraction to me? This is frustrating and annoying. If she'd just be a cold fish all the time, that I could understand. This coy receptiveness followed by ice just makes me crazy and exhausted.
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