Work is a bear. We are fighting over methodology and process again, and of course, schedule issues and bugs. Management is in complete denial: "We won't have bugs if we deny that they exist." They never go to the bathroom, either. Something's rotten in Denmark. They're losing money they could otherwise be pocketing but they don't know where and I can't make them see it.
Two nights ago, just as I was leaving work, I got a call from a woman named Brandy. Apparently, my younger daughter, Shannon, left one of her art notebooks on the light rail in Sacramento. My cell number was inside, designated "Dad," so I was the go-to guy to negotiate the book's recovery. I was loathe to just give out the ex's number to a stranger so I got hers and said that I'd have them call her. I called and told the children to tell their mother to get hold of Brandy, because their mother would know what kind of information with which she would feel comfortable giving out. Both of them promptly forgot. Teenagers...(well, technically, Shannon's just turned twelve in August).
I got the news about the mass case of offspring amnesia when I called up last night to see if they got the notebook back. I actually spoke with the ex. We had a surprisingly civil conversation. Since the divorce, I have not always communicated well with her, and it is perhaps somewhat my fault more than hers. She rubs me the wrong way, since I've had to deal with her in this context, and frankly I'd just as soon not deal with her at all, because it rouses in me a powerful ennui and frustration sometimes. Sometimes though, it is nice to recall that whatever else she has become to me now, she still has a lovely voice. It's very sweet and often soothing, when you are in the mood to hear it. Heh.
Go figure. Last month I was strangling her in my dreams. It was actually rather disturbing and I only have a couple dream fragment images that I can remember. I don't know how it started, but it kind of opened en media res. I was strangling her and angry, about what I don't know and she was bleeding from the nose and mouth onto my hands and arms. It just happened suddenly, and I got disoriented and freaked and pulled the plug on that dream and woke up all jangle-y, nauseated, weird, and appalled. It took me an hour to get back to sleep. The vibe stuck with me all day. I don't usually have nightmares. In my waking moments I got finished being angry with her about a year ago. I really don't know from where that came.
Jackie's birthday was about two weeks ago. I called her on her cell and she was skating with a pack of her friends. Jackie doesn't see herself anything like the belle of the ball, but she's actually pretty popular among those who do call her friend. She's a very personable and dynamic person. At any rate, she was having a good time, and apparently felt like talking to me again. This is good. She's decided to come down and visit the weekend of the eighth of next month.
I guess that both Jackie and Shannon like the visual and performing arts school they're attending. They're both taking some advanced English courses, which is really good, since they have always been voracious readers and writers. Jackie is taking Japanese this year and also taking taiko drumming. I didn't know what in the heck that was until I looked it up. Fascinating. She's told her mother it is a lot of work and is perhaps having a couple of doubts. I hope that she is able to stick with it. I've been too much of a dilettante in life myself, in certain respects. Ah well, she will be what she will be.
Shannon is in color guard and also some kind of gifted and talented creative writing class. The little bug has a very busy schedule. She's got color guard events all over the Central Valley and Bay Area. According to her mother's report, she seems to be enjoying herself with it. I do hope so. Shannon has a streak of alienation running through her personality. I'm familiar with that as well. I keep telling her that it is under her control and that what she believes about herself influences what she is, but that is probably just too abstract to get a handle on at twelve. Perhaps participating in color guard and making friends there in circumstances of shared goals will help her feel a bit less like "the odd-girl out."
I need to sack out. I took a day of vacation tomorrow and I'm going down to Silicon Valley with my esteemed partners in crime and talk to a corporate lawyer who is helping us re-incorporate. The four of us dissolved the first incarnation of our company because it wasn't working out, and our previous lawyer had differing ideas than ours over where he envisioned the company going. Fortunately for us, this time around we have a very respectable patent law firm behind us as well as a corporate lawyer more in tune with what we're trying to accomplish.