Robert (Bro. Pepper-spray of Reasoned Discussion) (montecristo) wrote,
Robert (Bro. Pepper-spray of Reasoned Discussion)

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Too hot, too cool, and just right?

I've been thinking quite a lot about that great/not great thing with respect to relationships. It's easy to fall into this pattern of evaluating things according to some sort of quantitative or ordinal scale. People look at each other and say things like: "You're not enough this or that, or you're too much one thing or another. The question is, too much or too little of what? Could people really rank their relationships according to some ordinal scale from most favorite to least?

People aren't machines. If you say that someone is too much or too little of something, by what criteria are you judging? People have complex sets of needs which relate to personality, beliefs, mannerisms, temperament, looks and physique, idiosyncrasies... I've tried to analyze mine, because if one understands the criteria the more one can have conscious input into the heart's decision-making. At least, that's my theory, and I'm sticking to it.

The gist is, you can't really rate people for relationship potential according to any kind of objective scale. It's almost entirely subjective -- even axe murderers can be valued by some perverse individual, somewhere. Two people are right for each other or else they're not. Sadly enough, that doesn't always go both ways, either. I've seen cases where I felt so damned good about someone, and they just aren't interested. Love unrequited is a well-worn theme in art, philosophy, and life. It's hard to deal with that, when it happens. Thinking about it, I wonder if anyone has ever felt that way about me.

Tags: introspection, love, philosophy, ponderings and curiosity

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