Robert (Bro. Pepper-spray of Reasoned Discussion) (montecristo) wrote,
Robert (Bro. Pepper-spray of Reasoned Discussion)

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Yeah we all need faster women, slower horses, younger whiskey, less money...???

Hello, and welcome to the cultureless club! I really don't know what to make of this. I think I have just experienced a drive-by dating prelude! Ack!

Please allow me to explain. I was sitting here this evening, minding my own business, when I got a message on Yahoo IM from a lady about a year younger than I, to whom I had briefly said "Hi" once, months before, after she had said hi to me. She said that she had noticed that my profile had changed, and that I no longer had "married" on it but "separated," and that is why she was talking to me, as she "respected the married". What?

Well, we proceeded to exchange messages in a conversation that lasted exactly thirty-five minutes and forty-five seconds. In that short amount of time, in about as many exchanges, I was asked the following questions, in roughly the order given below:

  1. How long have I been married.
  2. How long have I been single.
  3. What am I doing up so late. (it was about 12:21 in the morning at the time)
  4. What do I do for a living.
  5. Do I have any kids.
  6. Do I have any other pictures.
  7. Am I still living in the Central Valley.
  8. What kind of car do I drive.
  9. What's happened since I've become single.
  10. How tall am I.
  11. What first name I go by.
  12. Would I like to talk again soon.
Whew! She didn't get around to telling me her name until about the sixth message exchange! Mind you, there was a tiny bit of small talk in there, mostly in response to questions that I asked. I'd not like to belittle this woman, who seemed nice and friendly enough, but the whole exchange just felt kind of weird. Okay. Call me an effeminate, old fashioned, chauvinistic, introvert, but doesn't anybody else single these days think that was a little fast? Is this speed dating? Gah, it's worse than speed-chess. No sooner had I gotten one or two lines out in answer to one question, opening up the topic for discussion, (in my book) than she would move on to the next one. Whoa.

For any ladies reading this -- do guys grill you like that? I can see why you ladies lurk or use invisibility mode or something. I just don't know what to make of that. Am I reading this situation correctly? Was I being scoped, cased, what have you? Geeze, it just felt so damned strange. Sometimes I wonder if I am cut out for the singles scene. Heck, in the last couple of weeks I thought I have been pretty forward and "proactive," myself. I mean, I've introduced myself point blank to women I don't know, read their journals, made comments, made friends, but this just seemed a bit, blunt, to me. Is this what the meet-markets are like these days? I tried to make a little small talk, and the lady did indulge me, for one or two lines of text or so, but it was like she was on a script or something. I don't know, but if she was interested in dating (there's that damnable "D" word again) I'd like a bit more romance, please! If she wasn't interested in "the D-word thing" then couldn't she have afforded to wait a couple more chat sessions to fill out the old info card?

Help, friends. Advice? Observations? Comments? Am I weird? Is she weird? Is her biological clock counting down in milliseconds? Is civilization crumbling around me that fast? Is this or is this not analogous to a guy introducing himself to a woman by asking her what flavor of condom she prefers to lick? Gah, I'm too tired to think about this weirdness right now.


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