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Montecristo Captain Quixote


The World Line of the Horizon Star

Some would say I was a lost man in a lost world

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Montecristo Captain Quixote

Sometimes, my internal DJ gets hooked on something.

It’s another beautiful fall day here in Alameda. The sky is clear and the air is warm. It is the kind of morning where one can catch a fleeting glimpse of the San Francisco skyline as one crests the overpass heading west on interstate 880 near the 29th street exit. These fantastic vistas, even, or perhaps especially, the sneaky flash-and-gone ones like this one, are yet one more reason I love California.

I saw a lady trucker this morning. Generally, despite the efforts and contrivances of feminists to place women into all jobs in equal proportion to men, women do not drive trucks for a living. The exceptional proportions are a little higher for small service industries, like catering, maid services, child care, etc, but even then, it is usually not women driving the trucks. They just aren’t attracted to those jobs, for whatever reasons. At any rate, I like observing people on the commute to work, and have noticed the rarity of women behind the wheels of commercial vehicles. They are so rare, in fact, that were I superstitious, I would be tempted to regard it as an omen of a good day to spot one. This morning I saw a woman behind the wheel of an eighteen-wheel rig. That’s an exceptionally rare occurrence, and I almost missed it. She was in the lane to the right of me, so I couldn’t see squarely into the window of the truck, but I did catch sight of a pink sweater sleeve out of which projected a mature feminine hand, sporting a feminine watch, engagement and wedding bands, and tasteful pink nail polish. The hand was dangling out of the tractor cab’s window, playing with the breeze or keeping time with music on the driver’s radio.

…and I can still hear him laugh, and I can still hear his song…

I awoke this morning with Dire Straits’ “The Man’s Too Big” playing in my skull. I could clearly hear the band’s axes twanging and Mark Knopfler’s distinctive voice in my ears. It’s been the music of choice for my subconscious for the last two days now. Many other people call this phenomenon “having an ear worm.” I have always been leery of applying such a derogatory term to something I not only do not mind, but also actually appreciate. Music has always been the art that has spoken most clearly and movingly to me. Even if the tune is silly or monotonous, I figure this phenomenon is only my subconscious holding a conversation with me. My inner realm is not a country with which I am usually at war, nor is it a valley where I fear to tread, since evicting the Holy Hobgoblin and all of his superstitions and demons out of my inner temple. It’s cleaner in there, now and my inner DJ is a lot less claustrophobic since she has more room to dance and play her tunes.

I have always regarded my inner DJ as female. I’m not exactly sure why, but I think it may have something to do with what many thinkers have regarded as “our dual nature,” or as Rush (the band, not the blowhard) called it, “the angel in my armor, the actress in my role.” At any rate, according to my thinking, she often represents perhaps, the voice of many inner roles: introspection, inspiration, self-entertainment, emotion, conscience, pride, satisfaction – the gentle destiny “that shapes our ends, rough-hew them how we will,” although many times I do not grasp any greater significance to what she plays beyond just a cool soundtrack, playing in the background. Often times I do wonder though, especially when one tune has been particularly persistent, if she is trying to say something in particular to me.

The Man's Too Big
Dire Straits

I am just an aging drummer boy,
And in the wars I used to play,
And I’ve called the tune to many a torching session.
Now they say I am a war criminal,
And I’m fading away,
Father, please hear my confession.

I have legalized robbery,
And called it belief,
I have run with the money,
I have a hid like a thief,
Rewritten history,
With my armies and my crooks,
Invented memories,
I did burn all the books.

And I can still hear his laughter,
And I can still hear his song,
The man’s too big,
The man’s too strong.

Well, I’ve tried to be meek,
I have tried to be mild,
But I spat like a woman,
And I sulked like a child,
I have lived behind walls,
That have made me alone,
Striven for peace,
Which I never have known.

And I can still hear his laughter,
And I can still hear his song,
The man’s too big,
The man’s too strong.

Well the sun rose on the courtyard,
And they all did hear him say,
“You always was a Judas,
But I got you anyway,
You may have got your silver,
But I swear upon my life,
Your sister gave me diamonds,
And I give them to your wife.”

Oh, Father, please help me,
For I have done wrong,
The man’s too big,
The man’s too strong.

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completey and totally off topic

my middle name is CLAIRE

i don't like it...
i never have...
i have this love/hate thing w/both my first & middle names...

my brother gave me my first name, and my mom chose my middle name...
in the past 15 yrs. or so, i have come to find that my first name somewhat suits me, but i middle name is so far and away from me that it makes me wonder what she was thinking...
then again...
you answered that i'm outgoing, and yet introverted IRL (i'm paraphrasing you here - forgive me)...
so i suppose the names do fit...

Re: completey and totally off topic

Ha! Dang it, I knew I had heard you mention a brother before. I think it's a perfectly lovely name. I don't know why people are unsatisfied with their names. It's beyond me. I like mine. My elder daughter used to dislike hers, but as I tolder when she was younger, she has "grown into it".

Re: completey and totally off topic

thank you for the compliment...

another secret...

i am the youngest of 8...

please, no jokes...
i'm at the point in my life where if i hear one more comment/joke/whatever about being from a mexican-catholic family, i swear i will smack someone in the face w/a brick or a car or whatever is handy at the moment...

i have 3 older sisters (59, 58, 55) and 4 older brothers (53, 52, 49, & 47)...
we all have saints names of one kind or another...

oh, and my b/f told me to tell you about my middle name...
it's also the name of a song by gilbert o'sullivan from the 1970's...
i had an 8th grade english teacher who would sing that to me when i would get in trouble in his class...

I don't give a damn and I'd like you if you can, get down, get down, get down... Heh heh

Heh! I've known that tune since I was a kid and I've always liked it! I pulled that one down in March of last year and it's in my rotation. There's not many people I know who remember it. It's certainly worlds better than the other weird semi-hit Gilbert O' Sullivans (which aren't all that bad, per se) "Alone Again (Naturally)" and "Get Down". Do you remember those two?

the moment i met you, i swear

"alone again(naturally)"

i sang that at kareoke one night after 4 white russians...
i've never sung before, but when i saw that - i had to do it and i must say - i did quite well...

what rotation are you talking about?

Re: the moment i met you, i swear

My "rotation" refers to the MP3 files I have on my hard drive which I play in a "rotation" play list in WinAmp. I have somewhere around 2200 tunes.

Re: the moment i met you, i swear

i'm not all quite that sure what that means, but it sounds mighty impressive and you have a lot of songs...

i have about 5 albums on my iTUNES...
i'm working on getting more...
billy has like a trillion songs on his iPOD, and trisha is coming in a close second...
paula just got an iPOD, so she has a few songs on there...

now i want to hear this song...

great lyrics...

I'll send you a copy, when I get home this evening.

send me a copy - that would be cool...
since i now have iTUNES, i can add things that people send me...

Re: Having no idea.

Of course, this is LJ. At best, we offer one another approximations of ourselves. Sometimes these approximations can be terribly interesting, like a glimpse of something wonderful, caught through a keyhole, but we are all of us full of interesting surprises. ; )

so is there anything about me that you don't know about me, that you would like to know?

(fucking awkward sentence- i can't talk to save my life)

Well I just learned that you are a glutton for punishment... heh heh

You should no better than to encourage a man with an insatiable curiosity. Okay, a smaller curiosity comes immediately to mind: The "i" in your name, is it long or short? Do you know that I've wanted to know the answer to that since I friended you?

Re: Well I just learned that you are a glutton for punishment... heh heh

I don't know why I often screw up homonyms while writing when I obviously know better. It is such a vexation. One day it is going to cost me my reputation as a grammar nazi. So, talk about not being able to talk. Ewe shed rite lack eye dew sum thyme.

and i lernd u cant spel



and no, i didn't know you wanted to know the answer to that since we "met"...

my turn:

would you like to go for coffee w/me just to hang out and chat?

Re: and i lernd u cant spel

I've been known to do that! (have coffee, hang out and chat with interesting people)

Read: Yes, that sounds like a great idea. ; )

Oh, I can spell, I just have some sort of weird typing dyslexia

See, if I didn't know how to spell, I wouldn't notice it and it wouldn't be so vexing.

remember you said it, i didn't - i'm only agreeing

ok, then..
you ever in alameda after 5pm during the week?
my work number is:

i don't believe that for a minute...

you're joshing me -
putting me on -
pulling my leg -
you're just a'funnin' me...

Re: remember you said it, i didn't - i'm only agreeing

Heh. I am often in Alameda after 5 during the week. I often don't leave work until 5:30 or 6:00.

That icon is hillarious.

Re: remember you said it, i didn't - i'm only agreeing

soooooooooooooo -
you have my work number -
use it...

i can be on park street - either at starbucks (my favourite place) or peet's (not my favourite place) or some place else of your choosing...

you pick...

Re: remember you said it, i didn't - i'm only agreeing

Sounds good. Do you have a preference for day?

to caffeinate or not to caffeinate - that is the question

well, all the days that end in the letter "Y" during the week are pretty much good for me...

just call me at work and we can set something up...
oh, wait...

i have a cell phone now:

(510) 856-8943...

yeah, so you can actually call me on that, since i carry that w/me all the time -
except to bed and in the shower...

(yeah, i know - TMI)

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