He: Oh Honey, if I had known you were a virgin before we started I would have gone slower.
She: If you'd have gone slower, I might have had time to remove my pantyhose first.
Why is it that the most fascinating conversations start up five minutes before you have to leave for work? I can see now why mangoes occupy such an important place at the vertex of the food triangle. I'll definitely have to eat them more often now.
Shortly after posting a few replies to the comments I received, I finally determined to stop putting off calling the chimney sweeps and get that ratty fireplace of mine inspected. Oh yes! Next Thursday they are coming to inspect and clean and then I can have fire. I'm such a pyro. The thing is, every man's cave should have open flame, to make it homey. I may actually have excuse to use my living room again.